Portal 2 No Spoiler Review
What are you looking at?
I am not going to have spoilers in this review. I will discuss the first five minutes of the game, the feel of it, and some general information about mechanics, but nothing that will ruin any surprises.
If you haven’t played Portal, then stop reading right now and go play it – it’s on Steam for $9.99 or XBLA for 1200 MS points, and it takes less than 3 hours to play. I’ll wait for you.
OK, you’re back? If you didn’t like Portal then you will not like Portal 2--but if that’s the case you probably also gain most of your pleasure from sodomizing farm animals, so why don’t you get back to that.
Now let me remove Valve’s well-endowed virtual penis from my mouth and start the review. Read more »
Portal 2 Co-op
Keith and I beat Portal 2‘s co-op mode tonight. It took us two sessions and about 8 hours of playtime. Very good game. Expect his review of the game as a whole to be forth coming, followed by Crysis 2. Meanwhile I’m about halfway through both Bulletstorm and Breath of Death VII so those reviews should be up by the weekend. Cheers.
Go Get a Ruler
When my apartment burned down five weeks ago, I lost my Xbox and all my save data. My friends were all incredibly supportive, but not my buddy Rhyno. He saw it as an opportunity to pass me in Gamerscore, nefarious prick. While I appreciate his moxy and killer instinct, I can hardly let this slight stand, can I? His score now stands at 26070, mine at 25705. The Race to 30000 is on (btw that douchebag Keith isn’t even in the running.)
On Tap
So I’m playing Breath of Death VII: The Beginning by Zeboyd Games right now, it’s an indie title on Xbox Live Arcade. It’s pretty sweet! Expect a review in the next couple days. Next week we’ll be reviewing Bulletstorm and Crysis 2, among other things. Eyes peeled.
B Button Cancels: Are video games art?
Miyamoto-san certainly thinks they are.
I decided I hated Roger Ebert after he made his now infamous assertion that video games were not, and never could be, considered art. It seemed so obvious to me that he was wrong (and a pretentious dick, to boot) that I never really stopped to consider the question. Read more »
About
CAMY is a former analyst for Rockstar. His credits include Red Dead Redemption, GTA IV PC edition and several unannounced titles. He reviews games from the clouds.
KEEF is an expert player who puts entertainment first. Madly in love with Bayonetta. He reviews games from the trenches.
